Heartbreak Hotel (Dark Friends-to-Lovers) Page 18

  Heal?

  I struggled with not cringing. Heal? There was no possibility of healing from what I’d been through. All I could do was keep moving forward and try my best to forget about the past.

  “Yeah. Writing could help me heal.” I grabbed the glass of water, put my back to him, and took a sip as I leaned back in my chair.

  While Yaz had given me an erection, Brett’s conversation had taken me out of my horniness. The blood began to drain from my dick, little by little, turning into a flaccid tool once the word heal was mentioned. Mom said it all the time. River wrote a song about it and dedicated the damn thing to me. Stone called me drunk in the middle of the night and wondered how he could heal me, and then cried the rest of the phone call. My family used other words and ways to inquire about my mind state—Are you okay? How’s things...you know...going? Still having nightmares?

  They didn’t really want to know the things that stirred my thoughts because if they did, it would injure something within them.

  Forget about it. He’s just looking out for me.

  On the dance floor, Yaz continued to dance to the beat. She looked so fucking sexy. Those curves, those hips, how that ass bounced. Her breasts jiggled, barely remaining in that tiny dress. She’d caught more than enough attention from the men around her. A few inched her way, probably waiting for a slow song before asking her to dance.

  The song ended and a new one came on with a slow tempo.

  I finished my glass. “I’ll be right back.”

  Brett nodded.

  Cool liquor slipped down my throat. The bitter taste of key lime clung to my tongue. The drummer slowed his pace. The music taunted the audience. The singer lowered his lyrics to almost a murmur over the song.

  “Haunting.”

  I headed down the stairs and toward the dance floor. People danced around me in violet dim light.

  “So delicate, you’re haunting me.”

  The crowd moved to the mellow beat, swaying, gyrating, and rocking into their partners. Sweat and sex drenched the air.

  “I’ll chase you. I’ll run your way. I’ll take you. Oh baby, won’t you stay?”

  Lost in the rhythm of the music, Yaz hadn’t seen me yet. And so, I watched her within the shadows of the night club, wanting to touch her the way the light danced on her skin. Even several feet in front of me, her scent lingered my way. Her presence drowned the space. I could taste Yaz on my tongue, sweet and bitter. I imagined her soft flesh between my teeth as I tenderly bit down on her flesh.

  “Rose-wet. Sweet sex.”

  And then, for some reason, Yaz turned around and her eyes targeted me.

  “Haunting me. Taunting me.”

  I couldn’t read what was in her eyes. However, I struggled with moving and couldn’t budge an inch. Her focus imprisoned me in that spot as violet light flickered across her face and people partied around us.

  “Drink. Let’s both be drunk off each other.”

  Her view remained planted on me and I was paralyzed, unable to flee. My heart pumped blood into my ears in a rhythmic motion like the bass of a techno song. My stomach clenched into bound knots of tension. Beads of sweat formed at my temples. And then something simple happened.

  Yasmine looked away, and I was free.

  Fuck.

  There was no denying it any longer. Yaz had power over me.

  I wanted to walk away, get to the house, pack my bags, and get the hell out of there.

  “Not again,” my heart would say, if it could speak. “Not again. Don’t you fucking fall for anyone else! We’re still repairing the damage from that bitch.”

  But who was I kidding? Was it only me? In these few days, she’d been softening my hardness down without even trying. Pushing away at my walls and making me want again.

  “Honey kisses. Velvet caresses. She undresses and then I lose control.”

  With her back to me, she didn’t return to the upbeat dancing. Instead, she remained frozen while Cindy and the other women rocked and sang out the lyrics.

  “Haunting.”

  Yaz glanced over her shoulder again and I motioned for her to come to me. She shook her head, and I damn near raced toward her.

  Wild. She made me wild and untamed. She turned me into a beast in the night. Shape-shifter. Some creature dragging itself out of a swamp, hungry for soft flesh.

  “So delicate, you’re haunting me.”

  Some guy walked up to her. He was around my build and height, but with dark brown skin.

  I frowned.

  Walk away.

  There was no way I could watch her dance within anyone else. She had to know I wouldn’t stand by and allow it. Did she have any fucking idea how I felt about her?

  But the guy looked like he was on some sort of mission. Determination blazed in his eyes. He got her attention by slipping his hand around her waist. She turned to him, jerked back, and moved his hand away. I couldn’t make out her words, but she looked pissed as she backed up and angrily said something to him, her hand wagging back and forth.

  Don’t fucking go over there. You know you’re not going to act right.

  The guy pushed his mission further. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, but in a way that suggested he was trying to eat her face. Jealousy knotted my gut.

  It was barely two seconds before she reared back and slapped the shit out of him.

  Now, my turn.

  With no hesitation, I walked over to them, ready to break open his head. I already didn’t appreciate the way he’d touched her, and now it was clear that she possibly knew him and didn’t want his company.

  In no time, I got to them. They both looked my way. She widened her eyes. Rage decorated his face.

  “Excuse me.” The guy put his arm around Yaz’s shoulder. “I’m talking to my fiancée right now.”

  “We’re not together anymore, so stop it.” She moved his arm and turned to me. “Hawk, I’ve got this. I’m fine.”

  I looked at him. “Go away.”

  “Excuse me?” He twisted his face in confusion. “Yasmine, who’s this?”

  “Hawk, I have this.” Yaz got between us and turned to me. “This is Greg. He’s my ex.”

  “You don’t have to explain who I am to this motherfucker.” Greg wrenched her his way.

  Furious, I yanked him away from her. “Don’t touch her.”

  Cindy appeared. “Oh shit! Greg, what are you doing here?”

  The other women surrounded us. Some of the people near us slowed from their dancing and pointed our way.

  I leaned toward him and whispered in his ear, “Go away, before I embarrass you in front of these people.”

  Greg widened his stance, and I knew then he wasn’t planning to go anywhere. I knew by the change in his expression, the sudden hard jut of his jaw, he was going for it.

  I clapped a hand down on his shoulder and spun him around. “You’re leaving now.”

  “Back off. Who the fuck are you?” He stumbled to the side, his eyes widening. Surprise flickered over his face as he glared at Yaz. “You’re fucking with him now? Already, bitch?!”

  “Bitch?” I grabbed him by his neck and dragged him to the wall. People yelled. I was sure one of them were Yaz. Someone grabbed at my back. Others yelled. The music stopped. Yet, nothing stopped me. Adrenaline and rage fueled inside me.

  I slammed him against the wall. “I said go away.”

  I punched him in the face. “Now.”

  He tried to hit me back, but was too busy guarding his face as I crashed my fist into him again. More people yelled. Others screamed.

  Brett’s voice came next. “Hawk!”

  Big men pulled us apart. The lights came on. People scattered away. Others took out their phones.

  And finally, I let him go.

  He fell to the floor, dripping with blood.

  “Hawk, get out of here, man.” Brett pulled me back.

  Yaz was on his side, walking over to Greg as two bouncers helped him. Greg stumbled arou
nd and mumbled something.

  “Hawk, let’s go.” Brett grabbed my arm. “They might call the cops.”

  “Throw some money at them.” I walked after Yaz and touched her arm.

  She turned to me with horror on her face.

  “Come with me,” I said.

  “Why? I told you I had him, Hawk. Why did you—”

  “He called you a bitch.”

  “You can’t fight everyone that calls me a bitch. You would be tired for days.”

  “Let’s talk about it outside.”

  “But—”

  “Please.” I gestured to half of the crowd looking at us and the rest taking in Greg as he was carried away. “I’m sorry, okay? But we need to talk.”

  “Fucking hell.” Brett wrenched his wallet out of his pocket. “At least get her and you out of here so I can clean this up.”

  “Thanks, man,” I said.

  “Get the fuck out of here.”

  I motioned for Yaz to follow me. She reluctantly obliged. Her expression said she was pissed as she kept glancing over her shoulder at Greg.

  We got outside and continued to my car.

  She stopped in front of it. “Are we talking inside of your car?”

  Police sirens blared off in the distance.

  I ran my fingers through my hair. “I was thinking we could go somewhere quieter.”

  She looked off in the siren’s direction and sighed. “Are you calm?”

  “Yes.” I walked over to the passenger side and opened the door. “I’m sorry.”

  She got in. I closed the door, hurried over to my side, jumped in, and sped off in the opposite direction of the police.

  My heart hammered in my chest. It wasn’t that I was scared to go to jail. I just needed time to make this up with Yaz. If the cops wanted to grab me later, it would be fine. But I had to make this right with her now.

  I rounded the corner and sped down the boulevard. Restaurants and clubs raced by us. The bridge appeared in front of us and I continued onto it. Thankfully, Yaz made no sound of protest. I just had to get off Key West and give us some distance.

  After a while, I’d continued so far, we cruised down the Seven Mile Bridge that connected Marathon key to Bahia Honda. On the left, old unused bridges jutted out of the dark rippling water. Some were recycled structures used as fishing piers. In silence, we passed others that still stood, but were abandoned and obsolete, crumbling, dead skeletons hovering over the ocean. During the day, when I looked down, I could see strings of coral pearls below. Tonight, it was only various shades of black rippling under us.

  I looked Yaz’s way. Her chest rose and fell like she’d been running.

  Guilt hit me. “I’m sorry. I might’ve gone too far.”

  “You beat him like you caught him raping me.”

  “He kissed you.”

  “I already slapped him for it.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I didn’t get to slap him.” I gripped the steering wheel hard and turned off to Bahia Honda, following the signs to an old friend’s dock. It was the only place I could think of for us to have complete privacy. There was a mini, man-made beach out there and nothing but quiet and shadows.

  After a minute of silence, she said, “Greg was drunk. He usually isn’t that bad.”

  “So, I shouldn’t have punched him?”

  “I don’t know.” She let out an exasperated breath. “Either way, he’ll live.”

  Silence filled the car for a few moments and then I broke the quiet. “He calls you Yasmine?”

  “Yeah. I never told him my nickname.”

  “Because only the people that love you call you Yaz.”

  She sighed. “Why did you that? I had him under control.”

  “How many times did he cheat?”

  She blinked. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “He deserved a few punches.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not the point, Hawk. I was dealing with him. That doesn’t give you the right to show up like some deranged super hero, slam him several times into a brick wall, and punch his fucking lights out.”

  I turned the car into the docking entrance. No one was supposed to be out here now, but the local police barely patrolled. At least, that was how it had been in my day. I parked within the shadows and got out of the car.

  She left too. “Why did we come out here?”

  I walked back to the trunk, opened it, and grabbed a huge blanket. “I wanted to talk somewhere far away.”

  She wrapped her shawl tight around her. “And what do we need to talk about?”

  “Us.”

  “I thought we settled that.”

  “You thought wrong.”

  She frowned.

  “I want to add some things,” I said.

  “Like?”

  “Anything that would get you back on my couch and naked.”

  “What you did to Greg can’t happen again.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you punch people a lot?”

  I closed the trunk and set the blanket on top. “Are you asking if I have an anger management problem?”

  “Yes.”

  “I do, when it comes to any man touching a woman that I don’t want touched.” I walked over to her. “You don’t want your ex punched again, make sure he doesn’t kiss or call you a bitch again.”

  “No, you don’t punch anyone over me again.” Sighing, she leaned against my car.

  “Had he not touched you and walked away, he would’ve been fine.” I continued her way, got in front of her, and trapped her between the car and me, placing my hands on the car behind me. “You look beautiful tonight.”

  “Don’t punch anyone over me again.”

  “Okay,” I lied, tilting my head and studying her for a moment. “You smell amazing too.”

  “Thank you.” She stared into my eyes. “You scared me.”

  I stepped in close and pressed against her. I loved being so close. Her nipples hardened against my chest. “I won’t scare you again.”

  “Okay.” She shivered, and I knew right there that she craved me as much as I craved her.

  I bit my lip as heat radiated between us. “That was stupid. I’ve done a lot of stupid things recently.”

  “Like what?”

  I kissed her. Needing to taste her, I increased the pressure of the kiss and touched the tip of my tongue to hers. She tasted sweet, but I wanted more. I wanted all of her.

  Yaz wore the innocent and sweet look all day, but on the inside she was an evil, evil woman. She already had me strung and I hadn’t even put my dick inside of her. And damn, I wanted to with every cell in my body. But I had to get things clear first. If she thought this was going to be a one-time thing then she was wrong. I didn’t even know if I would let her go. It felt too good to be around her. I wanted to bask in the sunshine for as long as I could. I needed the heat before the storm came.

  And the storm would come. There was always rain and winds and tornadoes in life. But right now, I wanted my sun, my Yaz, naked and on her back in front of me.

  She’d incited sparks of life in me. In fact, that was an understatement; she was a fucking nuclear bomb. Fire filled me, so many flames it was hard to not dive into her body and swim inside her for days.

  I kissed her some more and when I let go, she whispered, “Hawk, we said we would just be friends.”

  “That’s another stupid thing I’ve done this week.” I nipped at her lip.

  She trembled against me. “But—”

  “I have regrets. I should’ve said I would try to open my heart to you. In fact...I should’ve just tried. And most of all, I should’ve made you come.” Without hesitation, I pulled up her dress, found soft panties, and delved my fingers beneath the waistband, encountering wet, silky skin.

  She moved my hand away.

  “Damn it,” I groaned. “Let’s try it.”

  She trembled against me. “Try what?”

  “Whatever you want.”

  Chapter
13

  Yasmine

  “Whatever I want?” I asked.

  “Yes.” There was a sweet tone to his voice. Sweet and goddam sexy. It put me on edge. Hawk in this mode would be my heart’s destruction. The look on his face was nothing like the way he’d looked at me earlier. Before, it had been teasing and mischievous. Now, he looked hungry and love sick.

  My belly flip-flopped.

  “Let’s stop playing around and try this,” he said. “Try us.”

  “Try us?”

  “I’ll try to open my heart to you.”

  Try? Is that good enough?

  Maybe it would have to be. I didn’t know everything he’d been through, but him trying was better than him shutting himself away from me completely.

  “It’s not like I want love,” I said. “I just don’t want to be a sex toy. An object that you can dirty up and discard when you’re done.”

  “I would never do that you.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “What are we going to do, Cherry Bomb?”

  “I’m thinking.”

  “Maybe we think too much and should just do.” He bit his lip. “I thought about you that night after you left me. I painted you for the past days. I bet I’ll be thinking about you even more tonight and the night after and after. That’s all I have.”

  “What do you mean that’s all you have?”

  “Everything else I’m feeling, I can’t think of the words yet. They’re there, just not on my tongue.”

  A deep tremor went through me, desire splintering through restraint. Although the wind blew through my dreadlocks, my body was warm from the fire rising within me. I couldn’t say a word.

  “I won’t hurt you.” He backed up and grabbed my hand. “I won’t scare you again, either.” He guided me to the front of his car. “And if I still have a heart, I’ll find it for you.”

  He leaned his head to the side. Moonlight slid across the dark layers of his hair.

  “I’ll take it out of that safe,” he whispered. “I’ll give it to you.”

  I swallowed, trying to get my words together. Days ago, I’d walked away from him, thinking that there would be no hope in us trying. Each time I slept, I dreamed about him. Each time I woke up, I thought about him, glancing out the window every few minutes to get a glimpse of his face.